Published On: Fri, Nov 25th, 2016

Trumps Win, Zimbabwean Synopsis


Now that Donald “Cowboy” Trump has won the United States of America Presidential run against his opponent Hillary Clinton, does it mean that …..

    1. Pastor E and his family shall be bundled onto the first one way flight back home?
    2. That every Zimbo and Ugandan should start thinking of investing in a nuclear bunker as Trump shall come to collect on his promise by coming after our own home-grown dictator and Museveni of Uganda?
    3. Will he share his political cake with his running mates in the Apprentice show or his socialite friends? Would it look so bad if he made Kim Kardashian his Secretary of State seeing as he has proved against all odd that in 2016 anything is possible?
    4. All black Americans have a big reason to worry and should start sorting out their immigration papers before the Trump forcibly evicts them in a bid to make America ‘white’ again. Apparently the Canadian Immigration website crashed as per the grapevine.
    5. Hillary Clinton needs to find herself a pretty damn good lawyer as Trump is definitely coming to collect by appointing a special prosecutor tailor made to put her behind bars for her heinous crimes?
    6. Bond notes or not? Does the issue of bond notes being rated at 1:1 with the USD still stand? Or we will pine and grovel on bended knees to the Queen of Great Britain to swap the dollar with the pound in the arrangement. Because we all know that our corrupt public officials will not allow the little unknown Rand to rain on their parade or stand in the way of them stealing our money?
    7. Putin and America? As Putin hopes for “constructive dialogue” with Trump?

  1. War credentials mean absolutely nothing in running for the presidency in the contemporary set up? It is the second time America has elected someone who was never in the military as President. Zimbabwe to borrow a leaf hmmm?
  2. Witnessing Zimbos getting overly emotional about the America Election Results yet most of them are unregistered voters in their own country plus to Trump Zimbabwe is the least of his problems.
  3. Bond Prophet TB Joshua? T B Joshua missed the mark and predicted Hillary’s victory. Will that entail Kembo Mohadi taking the cue and throwing away the #ThisHandkerchief? Or will the prophet hang his boots for good and above all what are his blind gullible zealots saying?
  4. Once Trump gets convicted of the rape and fraud allegations there shall be no inauguration ceremony?
  5. Dr Amai will throw in the towel to all speculation and pull the middle finger to all subtle hints about her intention to run for the golden throne? She will run since Trump ‘abilivisa magafa’ at full throttle.
  6. Amai Mujuru has been devastated as her run for 2018 was strongly leaning on the results of this election?
  7. Melania Trump is secretly sending Michelle Obama a bouquet of beautiful lilies with a thank you note for allowing her to copy and paste her speech. Just because this time copying and pasting actually paid off with her packing her guccie bags to occupy the White House.


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